Early on as a stay at home mom and wifey, I sort of came up with this gold standard of how I thought I should conduct myself and run my household. I used to think my house, at all times, needed to be spotless, laundry always in check, with dinner promptly on the table by 6, followed by an extensive kitchen clean up by yours truly. Moreover, my body needed to stay in shape, the kids should always be comfortable, and the hubby "taken care of" in and out of the bedroom…you get the idea.
Im not sure where I came up with that unsustainable ideology, or even what century I thought I was living in. (perhaps it was due to an acute misunderstanding of my religious background coupled with my obsessive compulsive personality) Though it gradually became my norm. Somehow I did everything in my control to keep up with that ideal, and I actually became quite good at it! For many years I felt like I had the perfect and comfortable routine, until I became a slave to it. My self professed “organized” way of living steadily became quite constricting, and the purest form of me had been diluted to nearly none. The girl I once knew as easy going and carefree soon became a real hot, anxious mess.
I suspect it’s only a matter of time before your mind and body give out and decide that enough is enough. Although it took nearly a year and many tear-filled therapy sessions to recover, I am now very thankful for all of those anxiety ridden days that followed, and while I still try to do my best at my job, I realized that I can't please everyone all of the time and that being myself is key. If I were you, I just might want one of me around too! 💛 -jess xoxo
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